


Hide and Seek

by Pixie (magnetgirl)



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Ficlet, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 11:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15728274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnetgirl/pseuds/Pixie
Summary: Saru has a gift for Michael





	Hide and Seek

Saru is waiting outside Michael’s and Tilly’s quarters. There will possibly, likely, be a shuffle of assignments once they receive a new mission, a new captain, but for now she remains with Tilly, and Saru is waiting at the door. 

The truth is Michael wants to stay sharing with Tilly. She’s like a flashlight that keeps the monsters away, or at least hidden from view. Of course Tilly would invite the monsters to tea, but then so would Michael. So had Michael. 

She shakes her head to clear it and quickens her pace. “Is something the matter?”

“No,” he assures her, or maybe himself, he certainly seems bothered in any case. “I. . .” He frowns and gives up on words, his long arms come forward, his hands closed around a box he thrusts into hers. It’s a case marked Starfleet Command, the case that contained Philippa’s telescope. Her eyes narrow. It’s Philippa’s telescope. She looks up with confusion.

“I wanted to return this to you,” Saru explains, his tone strained, his words rushed, “now you’re. . . now you’ll be staying with us more permanently. Or perhaps not. But in case you are reassigned, then it is doubly important.”

Michael’s confusion only increases. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“No, I. . .” He sighs. “I should not have accepted this. I wish to return it. In good faith.”

Michael adjusts her grip so she may partially grasp his hand. “Saru, I gave it to you.”

He nods vigorously. “And I am very grateful. But I should not have accepted the gift. Or if I should,” he continues, anticipating her response, “as I needed it then, now I must return it.”

“Because I need it now?”

“Yes.”

She tilts her head, meets his eyes. “Why?”

“Captain Georgiou gave it to you.” His answer is simple, and earnest, and incomplete. 

“To remember her,” Michael guesses. To remember their captain, her mentor, and not the changeling imposter who pranced around in her skin.

But Saru shakes his head. “To remember what she saw.”

Michael feels tears spring at the back of her eyelids. How did he see through her so easily? Even Sarek hadn’t seen the hidden depths of her despair. So many people had celebrated her, thanked her, given her credit for saving the Federation, saving their lives and their souls.  _You saved us all_ , they told her, reversing their earlier decision that she’d doomed them all. No one person can be responsible for either, but that’s not what keeps her up at night, watching for monsters to avoid facing the truth in the dark. 

She didn’t save them all.

"I miss her," she whispers. The galaxy was brighter before. Lighter, in many ways. And while loss is an old friend to Michael, it is not a comfort. She allows her shields to lower for a moment, this moment, this friend, in hopes it and he will be. 

"She is in the stars," Saru offers. It sounds like he's quoting something, someone, and a smile tugs at her lips despite her grief. Because Philippa would laugh and so should she. 

"Looking down on me?" she posits to complete the mangled quotation. 

"I do not know," he admits. "But when you look up."

She smiles fully now and bows her head. "Thank you, my friend." Saru nods and takes his leave and when he reaches the corner and fades from view she turns into her quarters, shared with Tilly. She pauses to brush a hand across the Starfleet delta  inscribed on the case and then tucks it under her bed, so all the monsters can find the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this photoset I made](http://pixiedane.tumblr.com/post/177148735043/trek-rarepair-swap-round-23-for-ussjellyfish), and the fact that I am going to remain upset about this telescope until Saru gives it back, or at least puts it somewhere Michael has access to.


End file.
